tsunami

tsunami, originally uploaded by piccola ala.

Tsunami blues

09.00 am 26 Dec 04
I was just awake on the porch of our bungalow and discussing where we would go for breakfast with Pat, Sebastian and Sabine when we heard somepeople screaming and we sow the water coming to the bungalow in front of ours, so we thought that the front bungalows had a broken toilet ahahaha when we heard more people screaming we went to the beach and....THERE WAS NO BEACH ANYMORE! there was water everywhere till the palms and the volleyball net was in the water and 100mt of beach were suddently gone, in just a few seconds, we heard from the people who sow it coming, then we thought wow full power this last full moon of the year! we just thought about high tights so we did not worry too much we were more amazed, then we sow people starting to panik, tourist rushing to the bungalows taking their stuff ready to leave the beach, but we were still very confident till we heard somebody talking about a huge hearthquake somewere in Surattani, Pat got white (and he is thai, so pretty dark;o) as his family is all in Surattani, then we heard somebody talking about the big waves in Phucket...well, Sebastian's girlfriend was in Phucket, he rushed to call her to see if she was fine, while that happend we were on the beach and in a few seconds the beach reappeared, the water went back leaving some dirt and a lot of shock, expecially the thais were pale from fear, then me and Pat started to walk on the beach to look at the weird stuff left by the sea when I see that on the end of the beach, about 2 km away from us a big wave was over the little montain, maybe 15 mt high if not more and while I was watching that and barely believingmy eyes I heard my name, Sabine calling me, telling me to get back as it was coming again, and I looked there was a big wave coming, I thought ok, I have time, but still they were calling me and I looked again and there was a HUGE wave behind the big one coming! there I run, run, run and the adrenaline was shaking my body wow never sow such a big wave there I was really scared but suddently I realized that I was safe, that it would not get far into the jungle so I stopped, like also Pat and Sabine did, others paniked and run away, we looked around and appart from the water and these big pieces of wood coming from nowhere there was nothing more to fear... so we went back to what was left of the beach and we sow after a while the water retiring again, strange thing was to look at the water, it would come and go very fast, 100s mts in a few seconds, but still it seemed very slow to me, I dont know if that is an optical effect or if it is the way my mind percieved it, but the truth is that when I sow the water it took me a while to understand the danger
so we went back to the bungalow, really worried about our friend Miew working on a pub on the beach in Phi Phi, as they told us that Phi Phi was gone, we did not know what to think, in the meanwhile Sebastian was not there, so we waited for him, and waited and waited, then the people were leaving the beach and telling us to leave as soon as possible but no we dont leave without Sebastian where the hell did he go till it was 13.00 more or less so somebody comes and tells us to get the hell out of there as another bigger wave was coming to devastate the rest, so we took a little of our stuff (the juggling toys ;o)) and left, without Sebastian, we went into the middle of the island, looking for him everywere,asking everybody, people getting psychotic everywhere, rumors of hearthquakes finally from Sumatra, not from Surattani, with Pat's relief, news of bigger waves coming every hour, no authorities coming to tell us where to go what to do, authority come only to fuck up, I got a proof now, rumors of people missing, we were counting eachother, did you see ...? yeah and did you see ....? etc, we gathered at the school, in the middle of the island, where the thais started to arrange food for everybody, but still Sebastian was not there and we were looking for a motorbike to look for him but all the motorbikes of the island were taken already till finally we find one in the evening and Pat goes around and finds him...on a hill, with some dutch people and he refused to come down at the school, so me and Sabine go to talk to him and he says that when he sow the big wave coming he started to run and did not stop till he was on the hill, we tried to tell him that we were waiting for him for HOURS on the beach and that we were damned worried for him, that luckly he was ok, it was time to get down the hill and go where the rest of the people were, but he would not listen so Pat stayed with him at night and me and Sabine went back to the school, were we spent a good night.
The day after everybody was in a good mood at the school and the people started to get back to the bungalows, some were destroyed, one bar on the beach (Rastababy) was damaged, the people of Rasta Baby got the strongest part of the wave, me and Sabine got back and Sebastian would go to the school but he would not go back to the beach so again Pat stayed with him, so that night I slept in the bungalow alone, as Sabine stayed with her boyfriend on another resort,
I was trying to recognise from the noise of the waves how big they were till I fell asleep.
The morning after the guys came back to the beach but I did not recognised them, no words, no nothing, never felt so alone, really a bad feeling, till they decide to go to the village and bye bye, I was again alone and the fear started to grow in me just then, after the all story was finished, I realized I could not get into the water, that every wave of 50 cm would scare the hell out of me, that I was scared of the strange things that the water might have brought to the beach, I started to deal with all this and the deep sadness that would grab me suddently, and everything was just so fine before the wave!
so the guys come back but I had a stone in my troath and I could not tell them how I was feeling, how I needed them to be with me like we were before the wave, so they just decide to go, Sebastian to Phucket to see if everthing was still standing and Pat to his family so I spent a horrible night hoping that the day would not come as I did not want to stay alone and I did not want to leave either, and at 07.00 in the morning I get out of the bungalow and go for a long ride on my bike till I was sure the guys were gone with the only morning boat.
After that I was busy dealing with all the feelings growing in me,with the endoftheworld feelings growing in everybody around me, the psychosis of the new bigger waves coming, the people that left me alone, the people that stayed that kept talking like we were death already, general depression, deserted beaches, histerical atmosphere in the village
I just knew a few things

1) I knew nothing was going to happen on our island
2) the peolpe were feaking out in a panik-chain reaction
3)when I looked at the sea and at the sky I felt a peacefull and safe feeling
4)the people I was worried for have been the ones that hurted me the most and left me alone

for the rest I rationally knew that if the biggest wave did not cause big damages, the aftershok waves had to be smaller and could not cause damages at all, so I knew there was no reason to worry, but there was a lot of people that seemed to enjoy to spread the panik, and maybe because in that little island nothing ever happens it was quite an event, while the REAL troubles were a few islands away from us, with thousends of deaths between the fishermans and the sea gipsys that nobody counts, and to those my thought were going
I realised that the people can be so conditioned to feel things that dont belong to them,
and that at a certain point it's not possible anymore to discern what is it that you think and what is that the environment wants you to think,
I realised that everytime I would go away from the people paniking in the village I felt peaceful and I could think about the people that lost their lives with a sense of pity but not of panik
fortunatelly some people in the island felt the same and the Rasta Baby crew was trying to lift up the mood of the endoftheworld tourists, I am very thankfull to them, they are like a little light in the darkness of this tragedy in the memory of my personal experience
I spent a very sad and lonely new year, I cried a lot in my hangmat ,it was the worse of my life, but I know that when I am on the ground and I can stand up again its a very good feeling, infact all this brought me the strenght I needed to pack my stuff and go to India on my own, without waiting for anybody to come with me, as I learned a big lesson about friendship in this experience, as everthing else I realized how the most beautifull thing can turn into a horror and how the opposite is possible
still the island I left is to me the last paradise, besides being one of the most lucky island of the Adaman Sea.